It’s Teacher Tuesday where I usually offer an activity or lesson idea that you can use in your classroom. But this week it isn’t either of those I’m offering: just a little anecdote and a bit of a plea.

Last week I shared, among other things, this poem, written during a writing workshop as an example of a sad poem.

Then, later in the week I was lucky enough to be part of the Harvey Literary Festival where I spoke to children in years 3 and 4 from three different schools. Partly because it was semi local I found myself speaking more about my own childhood, growing up in Collie.

Later I read the opening pages of Pearl Verses the World and, as always, turned the book so show the beautiful illustrations. I pointed to Pearl, in her group of one under a tree. And, as I did so, I noticed the book on the ground next to her. And felt a little jolt of recognition.

“See that –”  I said to the group. “Pearl is just like me. I was that girl. The one who sat under a tree with a book.”

And I went on to briefly explain what I meant. So many many days in school I found the play ground a challenging beast. We were let out for a snack and a play – but playing required people to play with. I did have friends (and some of those friends are still in my life) but I also found relationships really challenging – I did not understand how to just join a game if I hadn’t been specifically invited, or if my friend was (shock, horror) playing with someone else. And there were a lot of times that I felt I had no friends.

So, I learnt very early that a book was the solution. I would find a spot – under the weeping willow in the playground was my favourite – and I would open that book and I would read. That way no one would know I was lonely, but also, I felt less lonely, because I loved reading, and I connected with the characters in the books.

Later I learnt that the library could also be a safe place, and I added this to the ways to avoid looking and feeling alone. It’s only many many years later that I realise my social awkwardness and feeling of not belonging, of not understanding the rules of friendships was (is!) part of my neurodivergence. As an adult I’ve learnt other coping strategies, and built social skills, but I am still often awkward or nervous in situations where I feel like I don’t know the rules.

So, why am I sharing this on Teacher Tuesday?  Because of the way one child responded to this story.

This child listened, then put up their hand:
“So,” they said. “Would you say books were your lifeline?”

And I realised two things – one, that this kid was very very perceptive and perhaps knew better than me the point of what I was saying. And two, I was one kid under a tree, but these kids are in every playground, every school. Under a tree with a book, in the library, bouncing a ball on their own. And sometimes we see them and know that this child is lonely – but sometimes we don’t. Because a kid reading a book could indeed be just engrossed in the a really good story. But if they’re on their own, rather than reading alongside friends, there is a good chance that they, like me, are clutching a lifeline.

So, my Teacher Tuesday plea is that, in amongst the million other wonderful things you do as a teacher, please watch out for the kid under the tree. Do what you can to nurture them, to include them, to show them that they do belong. Stop in the playground and ask them about the book – or recommend another one for next. Even better, ask them about that book in the classroom, where another reader may hear and connect. Gently check in that the child is okay. Pearl is under that tree because the things happening in her life are really big – and she needs some space to process, even though, at the same time, she feels lonely.

You don’t have to be the total solution for that child, but you can take the opportunity to be part of it, by joing themunder that tree – which isn’t such a bad thing to do.